If I Hated Myself (A/V)

If I Hated Myself (A/V, 2017) is video footage that my father took when we visited my mother’s old neighbourhood in Bryan, Texas.

I wanted to depict hopelessness, desperation and terror – I chose to go with these moods because my mother had a difficult upbringing and I wanted to demonstrate this through slowing down the video and by making a gloomy composition. The video quality is quite low and I wanted to exaggerate it with the low fidelity sounds I recorded and compiled.